The Spaces in Between 4.8.15

Although it’s now officially spring, it feels like we’re in the space between seasons. We’re in a gap. It’s neither warm and dependably sunny nor unbearably cold and dark. The air still holds a chill and the snow continues to surprise us with the occasional fall. We have had a sprinkle of warmer days and the sun has made itself known, so we are hopeful of spring’s settling in.

Even with a rather emotionally dry topic like the weather, the transition from season to season brings its challenges. This year, the winter was anything but mild and brought more snow than we had ever imagined it would. We’ve gotten hints of spring and it has felt wonderful. The question that comes to mind for me is: Can we be here without needing to be there?

Lately I’ve noticed that many of us are finding ourselves in one way or another, in the spaces between here and there. One has let go of the old and is awaiting the arrival of something new. Or maybe one is still in the beginning of something new that hasn’t solidified or settled yet.

For example, a new job has arrived and there are still weeks to work at the old one, or perhaps a new phase of a relationship feels neither separate nor completely connected. Or maybe a desire and intention for change has moved the ground beneath into uncharted territory.

Things are up in the air, and not in the way the traditional phrase implies with that sort of careless uncertainty, but in the air to be moved from one ground to another.

In the space between we find ourselves sitting with varying degrees of uncertainty. We might have some information about what the future will hold in one area and not another. We don’t know exactly what our new reality will be like when the dust settles. We might also experience uncertainty as to if it will ever arrive, wondering if we’ll get stuck in the space between.

We might experience all sorts of mixed feelings, from excitement to fear to ambivalence to doubt. Naturally wanting to escape the chaos of an array of emotions, we might want to shut them all out and choose not to feel any of them especially since they are often hard to make sense of.

With the letting go of the old, comes letting go of the old on the inside and shifting our identity. In the spaces between, our identities are in a period of shift and change as we reorient ourselves and re-evaluate our habits. Our sense of uncertainty, fluctuating emotions and changing identity bring discomfort and anxiety. With all of that said, of course we want outta there!

We might want to run back to the old or extend an inspector gadget arm out grasping for the new, anything new, instead of staying where we are.

Staying where we are is often the hardest part.

Staying where we are doesn’t mean we aren’t moving, it means we are moving with life, with the mad and magical flow of things. For our new reality hasn’t fully shown and integrated itself yet, we must live in an unsettled place.

As we can see, naturally, we don’t want to be in-between, we want to be here or there but what if we formed a new relationship with this space because, throughout our lives, we will all find ourselves in it and more so, I have a feeling if we accept it and get to know the nature of it better, we will realize that there is an order in the chaos and that the space between is a gift not a curse.

There’s a reason this space exists. There’s wisdom in it. It represents an opportunity for reflection and reevaluation, softening and spiritual deepening.

We must resist the temptation to search for certainty and control where it cannot truly be found and instead look for it where it can. It is a seeming space of unknown, but if we look deeper we find a layer of certainty that if found and settled into, has the opportunity to bring us immense peace. This is the spiritual deepening that is asked of us. In this space we have more certainty than we realize it's just that it requires trust and faith.

Even if you feel like your feet aren’t on the ground, see how much can you keep your heart and eyes open. When we quiet down and breathe, we eventually hear the soft wisdom of our heart speak to us. We realize we need no other compass than this for now. We realize we are ok.

When we achieve some sense of safety in this space, we can pause to reflect and to feel. What do we want to bring with us to this next chapter? What do we want to let go of? This reflection and re-evaluation allows for positive growth and shift in identity, all positive my friends and know, this is nothing about your worth, your beauty--you were born with that, this is about natural evolution and movement towards our higher selves.

Transitions bring up our relevant inner stuff so we can have a chance to clear it before entering a new phase. Brilliant! We're presented with an opportunity to practice engaging more curiously and somatically with our feelings. As a result of being engaged with compassionately, they (the feelings) lose their edge and we lose ours too. Feeling our feelings doesn’t just mean crying on the floor, though that is certainty cathartic, it also means settling in and not resisting whatever arises in a safe way, even our ambivalence or disappointment.

At the same time, we must give ourselves an extra dose of TLC and admit that this time can be incredibly challenging. We must give ourselves a break, a hug, and an ice cream cone in the middle of the day.

True safety, the equivalent of buckling our seat-belts, comes from partnering with life instead of bracing against it. Drop into that space between. Trust it’s wisdom.

The spring always comes.

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