MY JOURNEY

As a child, I spent my mornings watching the Wizard of Oz on repeat. I would lose myself in this mystical, magical world where animals talked and wizards in castles existed. The rest of my days were spent  writing poetry, making up plays to film with the neighborhood kids, and teaching my brothers how to dance, read and write.  According to my parents I had a maturity, sensitivity and ability to love that one doesn’t see in most kids.  I was a sensitive, old soul and during this time, I saw the world as a beautiful place..Then, seemingly suddenly, everything changed.As I grew older, I began to feel different than my peers and my family in a way I couldn’t describe. Feelings of anxiety and confusion built up inside of me. I felt like an old soul trying to stay afloat in a sea of new souls in which I struggled to fit in. While the other girls my age were figuring out whether eyeliner should go on top of or underneath the eyelid, I was wondering about the “big questions” like what happens when we die, and what was our purpose while here on the planet. I felt different and I felt weird. And my external environment seemed to be agreeing with me.

“You are too sensitive.”

“You take things too personally.”

“You are meaty.  You would be hot if you lost 10 lbs.”

“Those jeans will never fit you.”

“Why are you so emotional?”

“You are too much.”

And I held in the pit of my stomach and the center of my heart the meaning underneath the words: Who I am is not OK.

My mind searched quickly for an answer, for a solution:

If I can just get my body to be the right shape and size, then I will know who I am and why I am here.

If I can be and look perfect, then I will be OK.

For much of my teen and young adult life, I lived in a glass house made out of thoughts about food, weight and body image.  Like so many other young women, I spent what should have been a lighthearted time of one’s life in deep emotional pain manifested in my relationship to food and body.

And then, to my confusion and dismay, when I felt like I had attained these external things, it wasn’t enough. I still didn’t feel the way I wanted to feel on the inside. I was disconnected from life and disconnected from myself. I had built myself a house of fear filled with cobwebs of illusions, and felt like I couldn’t get out.

I began to binge at night, followed by shame and restriction the day after. I desperately wanted to stuff down the intense emotions that were bubbling up inside of me. Then, a few years later, a traumatic experience locked my sensitive body into a highly stressed state.  Struggles with food and weight were replaced with chronic migraine headaches, fatigue, anxiety and insomnia.  Life felt stressful and overwhelming and my sensitive body couldn’t let go and relax.

As a sensitive and empathic person, I picked up on so much from my environment and thought about things so deeply that life often felt out of control. And, as what most of us do when things feel out of control, I tried desperately to control things, so much so that the muscles in my jaw, neck and head were constantly clenched and in pain.

I tried medication, superfoods, massages and doctors visits, yet I continued to live in pain.  I was always exhausted and never felt like I could take a deep, relaxing breath.  It became almost too much to take.

Then, for the first time in a long time, something inside of me shifted. I realized that I was living from a place of  fear and that I couldn’t bear the pain any longer. In that moment, I made a different choice.

I surrendered.

No, I didn’t give up.

I let go.  I let be.  I trusted there was a better way.

The door was opened to my previously locked house and the light was able to come in.

During this time, I began to dive in to the issues underneath my physical pain. I learned different healing methods and approaches, I learned about the mental and emotional causes and spiritual lessons underneath the symptoms I was experiencing.  I began to see how disconnected from myself I really was and began to get to know myself again, to love myself. One of the most important things I discovered was that I was a Sensitive Soul.  I was innately creative, intuitive, empathic and compassionate.  For those painful years of my life, I had rejected my sensitivity and as a result those beautiful parts couldn’t shine.

I learned to listen to and trust my intuition.  I created a lifestyle that supported and nourished me.  I gave myself the gifts of yoga, meditation, prayer, high-quality and delicious food, and enough down-time to reset my sensitive body.

My relationship to food and my body transformed as well. By shifting my relationship with myself to one of self-love, acceptance and compassion, I learned how to make food choices out of love.  Food became a source of nourishment, pleasure and medicine.

One day at a time, I have not only regained my health and wellbeing, I have regained the sunny and trusting outlook on life that I had once held as a child.  I am slowly returning to the adult version of that young girl who believed in magic, lived life with an open heart and felt free to be herself.

This new way of thinking and being has become the guiding framework for my coaching practice. Utilizing wisdom, teachings and practices from A Course In Miracles, Kundalini Yoga, Marianne Williamson and Dr. Elaine Aron, the field of Eating Psychology and functional medicine, I work with my clients to reconnect to themselves and find true freedom.

PROFESSIONAL BIO:

Lauren DeLuca is a Certified Eating Psychology Coach trained in Dynamic Eating Psychology and Mind/Body Nutrition with Marc David Ipe at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating.  Lauren is currently training with Master Coach and Teacher and Best-Selling Author, Alan Cohen, in his Holistic Life Coaching Training program.  Lauren also holds her Masters in Education from Simmons College and has worked in the fields of Social Work, Education and Fitness.  She is a trained and certified Barre Instructor with Exhale Spa and holds her 200-hour Yoga Teacher Certification from Prana Power Yoga.  Lauren has an incredibly thoughtful, warm and intuitive approach to coaching that allows her clients to step into their own worthiness, intuition and inner power.   She has a gift of taking Spiritual practices and principles and making them accessible, simple and life-changing for her clients.

 

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