In Times of Stress Remember This

When we are knee-deep in the daily grind of everyday life, it’s easy to forget about the loving presence that surrounds us and runs through us. When we fall prey to reacting, worrying, and analyzing, and addicting, our vision contracts and so do our bodies. The transient stress of the moment pulls at us so much that we feel like we’re frozen in time in an endless winter.

At once we’ve forgotten the most important truth: that we are cared for by life itself.

Without this knowing, no wonder we feel anxious, edgy and angry.

We’ve forgotten that an eternal wishing well dwells in our minds and our hearts.

We’ve forgotten that “real” magic runs through our veins.

We’ve forgotten that change is the only constant and that all change is beneath the surface, positive.

In general, throughout our lives, we move so far away from these knowings that being able to come back in the moment of tension or when we feel ourselves drifting to stress land and planet fear is mission impossible because we’ve programmed ourselves to follow this pattern instead of the pattern that was planted there moons ago. It’s ok it’s what we’ve learned. But it’s time for an unlearning experience.

The answer is not to lose hope but to accept the task of reprogramming ourselves to remember. We practice the remembering so that in time it becomes who we are and how we move through the world and so we don’t need to be knocked over the heads to remember what is true and c

How Being #3 on My Partner’s List Showed Me My Scars and Healed Them at the Same Time

It was a cold, winter night and I lay snuggled next to my now-fiancé, then-boyfriend. It was three months after I had set my New Year's resolution that would later be my saving grace and North Star.

He was struggling with making a huge a life decision. He was happy with his life, but wanted more. I could relate. I've always been a seeker and a visionary. I was excited to help him find clarity, a skill and strength I had as a coach.

He opened up a new Word document on his laptop. The cursor blinked at the top of the blank page. I could feel his anxiety and wanted to calm it in any way I could. I brought all of my focus and energy to this exercise, hoping to have him feel my support. Being with him made me want to give my all. I was touched by his openness to try this exercise. His receptivity strengthened my capacity to give.

I asked him to write about how he wanted to feel. I wasn't sure how he would respond to this kind of prompt. My heart skipped a beat as his fingers vigorously expressed his desired feelings. Next, I asked him to write what circumstances would make him feel that way. Again, he listed several ways he could shift his life to feel the way he wanted to feel.

From there, I asked him to write a list of action steps that he could take to make each of his desires a reality. He wrote three. I admired his ability to be succinct.

I smiled and nodded in understanding as the first two appeared, letter by letter over the screen... They made sense and wer

I Used My Spiritual Practice As a Crutch

My head ached, a migraine from the day before hadn’t dissolved like I had hoped, and my eyes burned from a restless night’s sleep. My body and mind were full of discomfort that I struggled to tolerate. My partner, hearing my tired groan, placed his arm over my back in a gesture of comfort. Tired tears built up behind my eyes, but I pushed them down and gently maneuvered my way out of his embrace. I stumbled my way out of bed and found my way over to my meditation pillow. He fell back to sleep.

I set the timer on my phone for 10 minutes and closed my eyes. I threw myself into my daily spiritual practice. Despite the appearance of a peaceful posture, I felt more tension build in my body and mind. The tension wanted a release, but with each breath, I pushed it back down. I couldn't name or control it and just wanted it to go away. I continued to sit until the timer went off.

I brewed myself my routine cup of coffee. I displaced the tension I was feeling onto the coffee making process. I jammed my hand against the drawer as I reached for a spoon and recklessly poured some milk into a mug, spilling it onto the countertop. These simple yet careless mistakes almost pushed me over the edge. Again the tears rushed up behind my eyes, but I swallowed them with a sip of coffee and moved to the second part of my practice: reading something inspirational.

I mumbled “Good morning," as my partner peered out of the bedroom, my eyes glued to a passage about feeling your feelings

Why I Gave Myself Permission to Love Sugar

As originally published by Over The Moon Magazine

These days one can’t leave home or open the computer without being informed, whether welcomed or not, of the latest and greatest nutrition tip promising good health, a tight body and underneath it, freedom from sins and refuge from worry and uncertainty.

At dinner parties, it is not uncommon to hear someone tell you about their virtuous plan to give up sugar when asked what’s new and good? Really? As we’re holding a glass of bubbly and a decadent o’dourve in our hands we cringe in embarrassment. We must be bad then, right? No!

On social media, blog posts with titles such as “7 ways to Quit Sugar” or “How I got off of sugar” or “The dangers of sugar” signify that if you are not already actively trying to eliminate sugar from your diet you better start now…or else…

I am not turning my back on the hard science that shows that sugar, in large quantities, can have a negative effect on our health. I am highlighting the fear that comes with the way the conversation is structured and the way we tend to interpret it. We all move in and out of fear and for those of us for whom the body has been a canvas to figure out our lives, our fear has been placed around food and the body. We are drawn in by the promise and allure of what the newest tip has to offer because we feel like something is missing in ourselves or

How to Heal From an Emotional Crisis

As originally published by Over The Moon Magazine 

Like little ripples of waves in the sea, feelings come and go asking us to ride their waves for a few moments in time. By riding their waves as they come, we keep the waters of our minds and bodies clear instead of cloudy. Troubles arise at sea when we try to control or resist the tides. As emotional beings, feeling is a large part of the human experience. Our emotions or feelings are genuine indicators of what is really going on inside of us.

With life challenges and transitions, such as a divorce, a breakup, a health issue, a loss of any kind, or a dark night of the soul comes an emotional tidal wave.

During such a time, one’s emotions can feel out of control and even frightening. The emotional terrain becomes unfamiliar, unknown and intense, waters that are troublesome to navigate.

One is asked to return to her daily life, but now she is swimming in a different sea. Although our lives are calling for forward movement and showing up for obligations, big feelings are also making their call to be heard and released so one can move toward healing and stay in alignment with what is right for her path. In order to heal, we must feel.

Many of us were never taught how to feel our emotions, especially the big ones. We do the worse possible thing when sadness or anger arises; we fear it and try to push it down. We

Are You Afraid of Falling, Failing & F*cking Up?

As Originally published by Over the Moon Magazine 

Are you afraid of falling, failing and f*cking up?

These fears used to run my life so much that I missed my life.

My solution came to me in the form of my new years resolution two years ago. My new years resolution wasn’t to wasn’t to lose weight, to do yoga everyday or become more organized. I had learned the lessons behind those wishes years ago.

It was to lean into life.

It wasn’t about something I wanted to achieve, but instead it was about a way I wanted to be. It was about what the phrase lean in looked like, felt like and would mean for my life.

I wanted to stop pulling away from life out of fear. I wanted to spend less time in my head and more time in my heart. I wanted to take risks.

Like a spider, I had carefully woven a web of fear around my body. Though, I had already embarked upon the journey of undoing most of the self-woven web, I still felt held back and constricted.

Life was calling me to lean in. To experience it all. To feel everything. To risk falling forward only to get up again and lean in again. To trust so deeply that I didn’t need to look back to go forwards.

And it wasn’t about staying in the middle ground as a careful observer. A wise and graceful presence. No, it was to fully lean in. To potentially get messy but also to potentially soar. Not to stan