Do I Create My Own Reality? 1.13.15

There's a lot of talk in the healing world about "creating your own reality." You are responsible for the world you see and you have the power to change/alter it. The idea is based on the Law of Attraction, which states that "like things attracts like things."

This theory states that we create our reality by drawing to us that which is like our state (our thoughts/feelings/what we envision). So, if we create positive thoughts and feelings, then we will create a happy reality. Yay! At the opposite end of the spectrum, if we think and feel negative thoughts and feelings, then we will create an unhappy and stressful life. Yikes!

I have worked with several clients who have worried about how this concept would effect their life during a difficult time or even during a normal time during which they experienced a flux of emotions and thoughts--positive and negative. I wonder if you can relate to this… I sure can!

They told me something along these lines, "I've been stuck in a fearful place lately and I can't seem to shake some of these negative thoughts I'm having. I'm so freaked out that I'm going to make them come true or that something bad is going to happen to me. I also worry that as a result of my negative thoughts and anxious feelings, I won't be able to get the things I want because I'm not thinking positively and feeling happy."

First, based on this way of thinking (we create our reality), this fear makes so much sense. And truly, it is the thoughts we think repeatedly, which create beliefs that can significantly alter our lives. Beliefs can be changed! However, that is a topic for another time or for a 1-1 coaching session.

Second, and most importantly for this note, is that The Law of Attraction is part of a bigger equation of how things work in the universe (which I will admit I definitely don't have the answers to… I just have life experience and education and my own theories as a result). Now, without the other pieces of the equation to help us understand our role in our lives, we're left in a really fearful place because we can jump to conclusions out of FEAR. This makes total sense.

Disclaimer: I won't deny that our habitual thought patterns and feeling set points (how we think and feel MOST of the time) have an influence on our experience. I also won’t deny that in a healthy way, we can work with our minds to develop more positive ways of thinking and a better relationship to our feelings and as a result, experience a higher quality of life and make decisions that are for our best.

However, I do not believe that our thoughts and feelings literally create our reality.

Influence, yes…
Create, no….

What a hefty duty of responsibility placed on regulating our own thoughts and feelings! How exhausting and overwhelming to think we are the only ones who are in control!

I sometimes think about this topic like this: When we were little kids, we were not running around thinking that we had to think or feel a certain way. At least I know the majority of us weren't. Our lives just worked out. We were guided and we didn’t even realize it. Some days we felt sad and some days we felt happy. Sometimes we were afraid and sometimes we were excited. Good things AND bad things happened.

On our path to adulthood we developed fearful ways of thinking, ingrained patterns of feeling (think: flight or flight at the worst possible times) and limiting beliefs. As Marianne Williamson says, "the lure of hell is so real here." This isn't our fault nor is it the end of the world. We have a lifetime to shift our perception from fear to love which is a moment to moment practice that eventually becomes easier over time.

The world we experience is absolutely shaped by our thoughts and feelings, which we have the power to change by changing our perception from fear to love and by understanding where our lines of thinking originated from. However, our thoughts and feelings do not create our reality. We don't have as much control as we think, nor should we want to when we realize who walks this path with us. Here's another piece of the puzzle that I hope will bring you peace.

Here's a comforting thought: Even if we think one thousand negative, fearful thoughts each day, life will still hold us in the palm of its hand and guide us step by step. We don’t need to figure and plan it all out. The divine will flow through our veins no less if we think positively or negatively. We may not be aware of this if we are in a negative place, but we are held nonetheless .
Here's what's missing from the equation: Partnering with and surrendering to the divine.

The other piece of the equation of influencing our lives in a positive way requires us letting go and falling into the arms of life itself.

You say your positive self-talk or affirmations and then you LET GO and TRUST.

There is a divine plan that naturally unfolds when you chose to lead with love. Life knows what's right for us. Our hearts may be frozen or covered in a light layer of frost but a choice to see and feel love turns on the natural light switch that is waiting to melt the layers blocking us from the power of love.

Fear may trip us up and slow us down, but love will lift us up and carry us. Partnering with and surrendering to the divine requires that we believe in the force of love.. even just a little bit. We have to be willing to let go of the grip we have on control.

A force far bigger than us creates our reality. However, we get to influence it by choosing to see through the lens of love instead of fear and by making decisions from this place. Take the deepest breath you've taken all day and know that you don't have to work so hard at making your life work out.

Where do we have control? In influencing our reality. One powerful strategy to influence our reality is in choosing what we focus on. I get how hard it can be to focus on good things that we desire to experience when our set point is drenched in fear and anxiety. One of my favorite tools for creating a shift is making a Vision and Inspiration Board. Check out the workshop section below for details.



Creating a Vision & Inspiration board anchors me to love when I need that grounding force. It helps to shift my energy--thoughts and feelings… It helps me get in touch with my deep heart's desires which can be hard to access when we live such busy lives and as sensitive souls, have anxiously wired minds. When I feel that I am in the grip of fear, this board reconnects to my heart and spirit.

I heard a teacher say that inspiration means being in spirit. The act of creating this board gets me in touch with my spirit. It helps me let go and get into a flow of love. It is a vision created by my heart and spirit in a grounded way.

Here's a peak of the board I recently created sitting on top of my desk...

Loving VB
I am so passionate about using this process to help get us in touch with our heart's desires and to create a piece of art to anchor us in love with intention. I've decided to hold a workshop next month to teach the process that I use to create Vision & Inspiration Boards. You'll learn the following (and more…):

-What exactly is a Vision & Inspiration Board
-Why it's a great idea to create one
-How to create your board in an intentional, safe way
-How to use your board

We will be creating your boards together after the teaching portion of our workshop. I'll be there to answer any questions that you have and you'll have a group of people to bounce ideas off of and receive support from. You will be responsible for bringing materials to create your board from (I will provide some, but I will need you to bring some supplies).

Where: My home in Newton, MA

When: Friday February 6th: 7-9:30 PM

Investment: $50

How to Sign-up: Email me @ to reserve your spot. I will also send you a pre-workshop questionnaire to help you start thinking about what you are desiring to create.

There are 7 spaces open for this workshop. Please get in touch if you would like to join us and create together.


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